'Get your cat treated for fleas before it goes wandering in France'

My cat has been camping out all summer with the feral cats in the orchard. 

I have watched her chasing sparrows round the cherry trees, stalking field mice though the long grass, lounging on top of the boundary wall, and rolling in the dust kicked up by the sheep.

Obviously, she is nuts. It is boiling hot out there and she's wearing a thick fur coat. But I don't mind if she does not want to come in, except for meals. It is her business.

She gets this sort of freedom because, in line with French law, she is microchipped. 

To be honest, I was not convinced that this was truly necessary; she never goes far from the house and she is very obviously a tabby mongrel. 

I was wrong, however. I just had a call from a vet 25km away, saying that my cat had been found wandering.

Picked up by an association

I was amazed. She is so fat and lazy that even forcing herself through the cat flap is an effort. How on earth had she wandered 25km from home?

After some discussion, the vet said the animal in question had been found wandering in the Place de la Fontaine. Outside my front door in fact! (Probably having stolen too much cat food at the neighbour's house, she couldn't get through the cat flap round the back.)

"She was miaowing," said the vet disapprovingly.

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"That's as may be. But she is chipped, sterilised, vaccinated, and was sitting outside her own front door, so what is she doing in your surgery?"

"The association ladies brought her to me to be sterilised. But if there's been a mistake, you'll have to collect her."

"I'm not driving a round-trip of 50km to collect a kidnapped cat! Get the association to bring her back!"

Sure enough, later that afternoon in strolled Fat Kitty complaining about the food at the vet and claiming to be starving hungry. 

However, as she sat there scratching one ear with her back foot, I realised I had made a mistake. 

Cat flea treatments

Last year, like a coward, I delayed treating her against fleas. Within 10 days the joint was jumping, and so was I. The bites were intensely itchy and I was allergic. Off I had to go to the GP to explain myself. Awkward.

I got the right creams and used every single product I could find on the cat. Within a week we had stopped scratching, but visitors to the house were still being eaten to death. (I swore blind it was mosquitoes.) 

It took forever to de-infest the house. You have to hoover daily, which is an unbelievable pain in the derrière. You also have to put down flea powder, and wash all the loose covers and mop and hoover again and again.

The trouble is, Kitty resists being treated for fleas. That is why I put it off. She claws and bites. I really should have made the vet de-flea her before sending her home.