How I got past the disillusionment of everyday life in France

We moved into my dream house in Provence just a few weeks ago. 

That statement in itself, gives cause for further analysis, because what I had previously thought of as ‘living the dream’ turned into Shangri-La Syndrome – a condition whereby older people try to live their lives as if they were still young. 

Trying to revive ghosts

I had enjoyed a passionate love affair with Nice all my life – so much so that when I was little, so distraught was I at having to return to grey, cold Glasgow at the end of the summer – I would bottle up some of the Mediterranean and take it back with me. 

When my life got derailed in my late teens, my desire to live there felt like an impossible dream. I gave up on it.

Fast forward to 2015 when Peter and I bought our first apartment in Nice. It was fun while we used it as a holiday home. 

However, it was when we decided in 2018 to sell our London house and move lock, stock, and barrel to Nice, that clouds started to loom on the horizon. 

We bought a historic wreck on the Promenade des Anglais, renovated it and eventually ended up with a beautiful house, complete with sensational views of La Baie des Anges

Was I happy and content? Sadly not! It slowly began to dawn on me that as much as I desperately wanted the experience to be the same as it had been in my youth – nothing stays the same. 

I was chasing family ghosts on every street corner – people whom I had loved and lost and who were irreplaceable. 

Read more: Tips for those wanting to move to France but blocked by doubt

Everyday life can be annoying

I learned that living somewhere full-time is not perfect. It is one thing going on holiday, but a completely different experience being there 24/7.

Daily irritations such as the near impossibility of parking, the crowds on the Promenade, the weekly manifestations in front of our house, and the French bureaucracy made me pull my hair out. 

It should have been fabulous having a house opposite the beach, but in reality the beach was hot, overcrowded and with cigarette fumes blowing in our faces. 

Add to that the indignity of falling into the sea thanks to the steep shingles, then having to clamber out on all fours because the banked pebbles were akin to scaling Everest. 

It was also evident that my Nice family were happily getting on with their own lives. There was no red carpet or 'hallelujah' just because we had moved. I began to grow depressed.

Face up to yourself

It is one thing being self-aware and another actually facing up to the fact that, wherever you go, you take yourself with you! 

I was carrying around a sack of ancient nostalgia, which bore no resemblance to my current situation. 

Nothing stays the same. We are bruised and battered by the storms of life and there is no panacea or magic potion that can fix us. 

Un mal pour un bien

After five years in Nice, Peter was made redundant in 2023. Having said we would never sell our seafront house, we decided to be ‘sensible’ and sell up. 

We sold it immediately. Out of the blue, some months later, the perfect house manifested itself via a British friend of mine whose son was selling his house in Fayence (Var). 

The moment we walked through the door, we experienced the 'wow' factor. We just had to have it!

Read more: Top tips for house hunting in France

Be open to change

Four weeks into our new house in Provence, I can honestly say that I feel as if this house has been waiting for me all my life. 

We thought we were both committed 'townies'. I was worried I would miss the sea view and the hubbub of Nice. Not a bit of it! We have never been happier and in this short space of time, we have decided to completely change our life plans and to make Provence our principal home. 

It is so important to stay open to new experiences and to not remain enmeshed in the past, as I was. 

We are making new happy memories. The old Nice ones will remain treasured and secure, forever locked in my heart. I have learned once again, that we only have the present moment. It is never too late. Dreams are a moveable feast.

• Stay open to new adventures

• Before committing to a location, have a reality check, and see if your feelings are current or historic

• It is never too late to change plans

• If anxious, ask yourself what the worst possible outcome could be if you go for your dreams

• Never allow fear of change to halt you in your tracks

• You are accountable to no one – stand in your own power and listen to your instincts

Can you identify with Cynthia on the issue of shifting dreams? If so, please share your experiences with her by sending a mail to Cynthia.spillman@connexionfrance.com.