‘It’s ok to be vibrant and confident’ – Moving to France after 50

France has been a magnet for generations of women, from students who dream of spending a year at a Parisian university to retirees who want one final big move. 

There is something about France that ignites the spark of adventure and increasingly women over 50 are deciding to make their life here. 

What attracts them to France, and do they think is it a better place for older women? 

‘Just a bonjour makes you feel like you are noticed’

Artist Gilly Beal, 62, originally from the UK moved to Uzès, southern France, in 2018 when she was 56. 

“I have always felt this affinity with France, I don’t know where it came from,” she says. 

Ms Beal lived in Paris for a year in her 20s before spending much of her life working in south east Asia. After moving back to the UK for a couple of years to be close to her sick father, she was ready for a change. 

“I thought, I have always wanted to go back and live in France, now is the time. I’m a freelance writer and artist, single without children, mortgage or ties, so what’s stopping me?” she says.                                                       

Ms Beal fell in love with the medieval village of Uzès, where she says one of the biggest benefits is a thriving community spirit. 

“I find that in France the sense of community is much stronger and it is more of a caring place. And there are lots of activities. The Mairie is always organising things for people which is amazing.”

Ms Beal believes older women tend to be more respected in France because of the etiquette of good manners, or politesse. 

“It is that politeness that England is supposed to have, but I think is gone… Just a bonjour makes you feel like you are noticed, that you are part of the community.” 

Another draw of life in France is the fact that her social circle is made up of people of all ages. 

“The social life in Uzès is varied in age. Sometimes it is people in their 30s and 40s. We go for apéro in a bar together, we go to exhibitions, we go to swim in the river.”

“I have never felt like I was in this box – ‘oh you’re an old person you can’t do that or hang out with us’ – I have not felt that at all.”

‘I have not had any feeling of ageism’

Lynch Mason is a retired occupational therapist and rowing coach from Oxford. She moved to the Hautes-Pyrénées department of south-west France with her husband in 2012, aged 61. 

“We moved when we retired for one more adventure before we got too old,” she tells The Connexion.

“My only requirements were a loo that worked with a door, a roof that didn’t leak and to be near to skiing. I got two out of three – the roof leaked!” 

Ms Mason thinks many women are attracted to France for a different way of life. 

“It is a more relaxed way of life with a good work-life balance. I have not had any feeling of ageism and I have always been treated with respect.” 

Socialising took time, she says, with some friends leaving because of Brexit and then the Covid-19 pandemic making life difficult. 

But one thing that has helped her integrate has been taking up tennis.

“I play tennis weekly at a very reasonable cost. In the UK club membership is very expensive. I have a good social life but that took a while to establish,” she says. 

And while France has many positives for older women, it does have its challenges. 

“If you don’t speak French well, socialising with French women can be difficult,” Ms Mason says. “I have found learning the language very difficult as I am dyslexic.” 

‘So glad we were living here’

Margaret Ford moved to the Gers department full-time in 2018, aged 64, having bought land in 2003 and built a house that was finished in 2013. 

She came to particularly appreciate living in France when a routine mammogram showed she had an aggressive form of stage three breast cancer. She had no symptoms. 

“At the time mammograms in the UK were cancelled or postponed due to Covid, so I’m not sure that the cancer would have been found until it had spread even further,” she tells The Connexion. 

“My personal experience of the French health system makes me so glad that we were living here,” she says. 

Ms Ford was seen the day after the mammogram by her GP and had a biopsy the following week. The time from the initial mammogram to starting chemotherapy was five weeks. 

“Transport to and from Toulouse, a two hour drive each way, was arranged for 20 weeks, all paid for by the system. Surgery and radiotherapy followed and in less than nine months the cancer was gone,” she says. 

“I have six monthly checks and the whole process has been made as stress free as possible. I cannot praise the French health system enough.”

‘It’s ok to be vibrant and confident’

Writer Sara Barnes, 62, from the UK, may just be embarking on her French adventure, but her love affair with the country started young. 

“As a 10-year-old on my first holiday in France with my family I remember sitting with my sisters in a vineyard and telling them I wanted to marry a French count and live in a chateau with my own vineyard,” she says. 

After bringing up her two children in the Lake District in the UK, her dreams of moving to France bubbling away in the background for over 40 years, Ms Barnes is now in the process of buying a house in France. 

“It felt like the right time at last to push through my fears and doubts,” she tells The Connexion. 

She has already noticed a difference in how older women are treated in France. 

“There is a certain degree of respect, but you are still seen as an attractive woman, not consigned to the shadows of beigedom,” she says. 

“It is okay to be vibrant and confident. All the normal courtesies you can expect to find when out and about in France such as greeting shopkeepers and those passing you on the street, become even more relevant and heartfelt. I don’t feel old.”

And while Ms Barnes certainly felt trepidation about making such a big move, her sense of adventure, and dreams of her future life in France, have spurred her on. 

“It sometimes feels overwhelming and I ask myself whether it is really necessary to go through it. I think why can't I just be content with being a little (tall), old lady and live quietly? And then the fire and passion in me says, hang on, you're not going to be invited back you know, now is the right time to keep stepping forwards, to make your one life really special.”

Did you move to France in your 50s or are you planning a move? Please share your experience with us by sending a mail to feedback@connexionfrance.com