Help! We are surrounded by English people in France
Columnist Cynthia Spillman gives her advice on how to feel more 'French'
It is important to feel a part of a community when moving to France
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Dear Cynth,
My wife and I moved to France two years ago and were immediately embraced by the local expat community in our village and the surrounding area.
The problem is, while they are all very pleasant and we appreciate the efforts they have made to include us, I don’t want all my socialising to be in English.
We came to France to feel “French” and integrate as best we can. Endless invitations for meals with fellow Brits aren’t helping that.
How do we politely disentangle ourselves?
MS
It is wonderful that you have been embraced locally and I am sure this is a support network you do not want to lose.
It is not always the case in villages, so you are already ahead of the game in terms of integration.
The fact is, you are entirely responsible for your French experience. You do not have to accept every invitation. It is perfectly acceptable to be more selective.
And if people are offended, then perhaps they were not true friends at all and you are better off without them.
Speak to your partner and ask them how they feel about the situation too. Decide on an invitation-by-invitation basis which occasions you would like to attend. ‘No’ is a complete sentence – it is not necessary to always make an excuse for not attending.
Find out what is going on in your village that’s 'French' and try a few of these.
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Are there any local volunteering opportunities? Could you attend a French conversation class? What about trying a French-speaking book club? You can even ask your existing expat circle what and where they go to speak French. Not everybody wants to exist in a “Little England” abroad!
You can enquire about all of these at your mairie. If there is nothing available that takes your fancy, then you could search social media or even take the lead and offer to start something! Be bold! Bon courage.
Read more: How to build a support network when you move to France
